Woman, Know your place!!!

This clip has got just about everything

2007-10-30T21:41:00.000-07:00

What we have here is the predecessor to American Idol, only cooler--The Gong Show. These snatches did not take it all, so my vote for them would be a 9.

The Site has a new Theme SONG

2007-10-21T10:10:00.000-07:00

Click here

Can you believe it, an update

2007-10-21T10:00:00.000-07:00

Watch out!!

2006-11-22T12:41:00.000-08:00

Featured media file

2006-11-02T12:59:00.000-08:00

Here are some brilliant women

2006-07-17T22:20:00.000-07:00

Fast times At Hero High

2006-07-17T21:52:00.000-07:00

I was trying to post something else and got this, It is so cool, I left it here.

Biff

2006-06-30T19:49:00.000-07:00

BIFF

My Dick is SOOOOOOOOO Big.....

2006-06-19T11:17:00.000-07:00

Click here to here about how big my dick is, by Drew Carey.

International rules of Manhood

2006-03-03T19:13:00.000-08:00

The International Rules of Manhood

1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:

(a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
(b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
(c) After wrecking your boss' car.
(d) One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game".
(e) When she is using her teeth.

3: Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies.

4: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.

5: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.

6: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.

7: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional. At that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the birthday boy's choice.

8: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.

9: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.

10: You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend.

11: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless model and only when it's free.

12: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.

13: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.

14: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.

15: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.

16: Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.

17: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.

18: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that's just greedy.

19: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.

20: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, except if she's withholding sex pending your response.

21: Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting
weights:

(a) Yeah, Baby, Push it!
(b) C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
(c) Another set and we can hit the showers!

22: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing:
i.e., both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.

23: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone.
Hang up if necessary.

24: The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend"
have carnal, drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion about what a big mistake it was occurs.

25: It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.

26: Thou shalt not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green, orange or sky blue.

27: The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an Xbox. End of story.

28: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics. Ever.

We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition of each is listed below.

"GUTS" is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to say, "are you still cleaning or are you flying somewhere?"

"BALLS" is coming home late after a night out with the guys smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the ass and having the balls to say, "You're next!"

We hope this clears up any confusion.

The International Council of Manhood, Ltd.

This guy is my hero

2006-02-28T13:15:00.000-08:00

Sicko "Marriage Contract" One For The Ages
Repulsive "Wifely Expectations" pact emerges in Iowa kidnap case

FEBRUARY 17--This country, as you know, is filled with the deranged. And then there's Travis Frey, a 33-year-old Iowa man who is facing charges that he tried to kidnap his own wife (not to mention a separate child pornography rap). Frey, prosecutors contend, apparently is a rather demanding guy. In fact, he actually drew up a bizarre four-page marriage document--a "Contract of Wifely Expectations"--that sought to establish guidelines for his spouse in terms of hygiene, clothing, and sexual activities. In return for fulfilling certain requirements, Frey (pictured right) offered "Good Behavior Days," or GBDs. Each GBD, Frey wrote, could be redeemed by his wife to "get out of doing the things" he requested daily. A copy of the proposed contract, which Frey's wife never signed and later provided to cops, can be found below. While we normally point out the highlights of most documents, there are so many in this demented, and very graphic, contract, we really can't do it justice. So set aside ten minutes--and prepare to be repulsed. (4 pages)

Want to know more, click here!

Evolution

2006-02-13T18:40:00.000-08:00

How Fights Start!!

2005-12-04T20:30:00.000-08:00

Her shirt speaks for itself

2005-11-26T20:26:00.000-08:00

What are we thankful for?

2005-11-22T06:23:00.000-08:00

With the holiday coming up, I thought it very important on this day, that we remember what is really important in our lives. Don't you agree??

This guy is my hero

2005-10-29T14:55:00.000-07:00

I wish I knew where he got that tshirt. That is what "Tshirt of the week" is all about. If I wore that shirt though, I bet my wife would stop ironing my shirts. He is a real man

This speaks for itself

2005-10-18T21:14:00.000-07:00

There is only way to answer questions like these

2005-09-25T21:38:00.000-07:00

My advice to guys. When ever a woman asks, do I look fat? The best way to answer the question is with another question. Do I look stupid? This is a trick that snatches use. It is impossible to answer this question without getting hit int he head with an iron.

Yes honey, you ass does look big. If you have to ask, then you already know the answer. I don't go asking women if my cock looks big in my shorts. I know it does, so I don't have to ask.

Can you believe this snatch?

2005-09-18T21:21:00.000-07:00

What should I be more suprized about? A snatch being this stupid, or that she is from West Virginia. I love the caption: Dope Shane Walker. She probably did not iron her boyfriend's shirts, so he took this gash's stash.

Women are not for decoration.

2005-09-05T21:10:00.000-07:00

Well no kidding women are not for decoration. They are for ironing my shirt! I am glad that the hooters girls came out to give Wednesday Adams a big cup of shut the Fu*k up!

I knew there was a reason for woman astronauts.

2005-08-29T18:12:00.000-07:00

And BTW, I have some shirts for you snatches!

I would like to welcome a new contributor: Taco John

2005-08-20T21:21:00.000-07:00

Taco John will be helping me maintain the site. This will officially double the ironing load for all of you snatches out there. Taco John is the absolute king of Hoggin'. He can bring home the biggest fattest coyote of a snatch, then ditch her. He calls it his coyote escape kit in reference to the show in living color episode: 45. Hopefully he will post about it. For those of you who don't know what hoggin' is I will explain. I will keep it simple for you dumb snatches out there.

Hoggin: This is when you go out to a club/bar and you and your buddies have a competition to see who can pick up the fattest (heaviest) chick in the place. You win if you can get her to leave with you. Then you either take her somewhere and have your way with her (why you would do this I don't know) or you ditch her. The best way to ditch a hog is to take her to a convenience store and ask her to go in and get some snacks. You know that she will go in since she is a fat pig and needs candy/pudding/or what ever to support her lard of a belly. Now, once she/it/the pig goes in and goes down an aisle and is out of sight, you leave and go home. You need to do this at a club that you do not normally go to. You also need to use and alias. The best form of birth control for one night stands is a different name and a different phone number.

Dirty is mentioned in a '50's instructional video!

2005-08-15T21:32:00.000-07:00

You will have to pay attention. It is near the end.

Check it out here: VIDEO: Billy's Dad.

Note: Link is fixed

I couldn't say it better myself

2005-08-13T22:04:00.000-07:00

It looks like it might be hard to read. Click Here for a larger picture

Song of the Month?

2005-08-11T06:32:00.000-07:00

This is a song about my wife.

2005-08-07T21:57:00.000-07:00

Another sponsor?

2005-08-03T20:17:00.000-07:00

He ya go Snatches. As stated in a previous post, Dirty likes to recycle when he can. What the hell are the people at Safeway thinking. I thought these coupons were supposed to be targeted based on your purchases. I bought whipped cream, ice cream, and some milk: all dairy products. Why the hell are they then trying to get me to buy some maxipads. Either the Safeway computer thought I was PMSing or it has secretly gone to my site. You would think that I would get coupon for cheese or somthing. Maybe it was the checkout gash playing a trick on me. That Snatch should have been at home tending to her husband and his children rather than peddling Maxi pads. Anyway, click on the picture. Download it. Have some free maxi pads courtesy of Dirty.

An Apple for Women?

2005-07-31T18:42:00.000-07:00

Apple has done it. In conjuction with Rowenta, Apple has developed a computer for women. On the right is the custom mouse for women. Now you can take the great advice given on this site and iron my shirt at the same time. Remember Snatch, I like extra starch.

This needs to be in every women's magazine:

2005-07-25T20:16:00.000-07:00

----Click for larger picture---

The origins of Dirty....

2005-07-25T07:55:00.000-07:00

Many people have approached me and said, "Dirty, how did you get so dirty? What do you have against women? What was the cause?". Well my friends and snatches, thankfully I hired the great people of ebaumsworld to film a documentary about my teenage years when I was 16. I lived at home, went to school, had a job. I lived with my mother and her butch manlike life partner that we called: princesscumguzzler. I heard later that my mom's life partner got a promotion to some other royal title.

Enough Said, here is the video:

http://media.ebaumsworld.com/wmv/mean_mom.wmv

if this doesn't work for you, get a brain, then try here:

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/videos/mean_mom.html

Respectfully,

D/S

Hey cool dudes and snatches:

2005-07-22T12:25:00.000-07:00

The forums are up and appear to be working. The link is on the right. If I need to draw a picture for the women, I will.

Dirty Sanchez endorses recycling: bilingual too!!!

2005-07-19T09:05:00.000-07:00

In keeping with my "earth first" policy, I would like to take the time to officially endorse recycling. Recycling keeps the world clean. I feel that all of earth's creatures should have their homes respected. I am very pleased to see that cans, glass, and nagging bitches can find a home once I have exhausted all use for them. I'm sure my new snatch was once someone's nagging bitch. It is cyclical. Just look at the symbol for recycling.

It serves as a reminder that your new fine piece of snatch eventually will become a nagging bitch. It's a natural progression that starts as soon as the wedding ring hits their finger. It's a rule in physics. It's called the snatch/hag principle. The formula for determining the hag coefficient is head+woopie/bitching. If the value for the hag coefficient drops below 1, then it is time to recycle.

No hag recycling in your area? Check out this site: recycling. If they don't recycle hags in your area, just ask maybe they will start. Just tell them that Dirty sent you.

Dirty Sanchez Attends local Women's rights rally

2005-07-13T19:22:00.000-07:00

So, being true to my word, and in the spirit of ending women’s suffrage, I took it upon myself to attend a local Women’s rally to show my unwavering support for the weaker sex. That's me, your pal Dirty, in the back with the orange sign.

Now, I know that you wouldn't expect your old pal to show support for a cause like this, but I thought it was the least I could do. Besides I needed my shirt ironed, and what better place to find a bunch of snatches hanging around doing nothing. One of them HAD to have an iron in the car. Right?

7/16th of an inch!!! Comments from women's sufferage..

2005-07-13T13:34:00.000-07:00

Anonymous said...
WTF??? Now what are you up to?!?

QUEENCUMGUZZLER said:
WHY PETITION US .. WE HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO VOTE FOR THE BIGGEST DICK OF THE WORLD!!!!!

littleweenieslayer said...
AND ACTUALLY IT WOULD PROVE WHAT ALL US WOMEN ALREADY KNOW,THAT MEN ARE THE ONES SCREWING UP THE WORLD...

Dirty's Response:

Seven sixteenths of one inch:

That's the distance you'd have to move your pinky in order to not sound like an idiot. I know the burden of pressing shift to capitalize is a great one, but c'mon Queencum' and littleweenie, you can do better than that. I used to type messages in caps like yours, but then I decided that I didn't want to spend the rest of my life mixing paint, or asking "you want fries with that?".

Oh and by the way:

Rating system for Women..

2005-07-13T12:59:00.000-07:00

The typical rating system for women is from 1 to 10 with a ten being a perfect score. This is not the rating system that I, Dirty, uses. My scale is from 1 to 30. The following areas are rated.

1. The Face/Head. It is not like any guy really looks here, but it is a quick inspection to see if you can get away with a single ply bag, or if a two-ply is needed.
2. The chest. Size matters. The bigger the better so long as they are not at her ankles.
3. Bottom. Once again size matters. If your friend whispers "Shallow Hal needs a Gal" in your ear when you are looking at some snatch, then this would be a low score.

There is a maximum ten points per area. The points are added together for a composite score. The scores are explained below:

30: Perfect--never seen one
26-29: Almost perfect. This is the chick you will be thinking of when you are banging your wife or girlfriend.
20-25: Very nice. This is a girl that you actually admit to being with.
16-19: Very average:
15: Average: This is the lowest possible score that you will tag without alcohol.
14: Below Average: For this one, there is enough alcohol on the planet, but you are going to need a whole bunch of it
13 and lower:There is not enough alcohol on the planet, or universe for that matter.

Now, there are some assumptions here.

A. You have used an alias and a different address.
B. You will not get caught.
C. There is no commitment, just Bang, Bang, Bang

End women's suffrage NOW!!!

2005-07-09T21:53:00.000-07:00

I have seen the errors in my ways. I have spoken badly about a woman's place in this world. To make up for this, I am going to post this link. It is a link to a petition to end women's suffrage.

petition to end women's suffrage

C'mon people sign this, at the time of this post there are only 180 signatures.

D/S

Limerick:

2005-07-08T09:20:00.000-07:00

The other night I went hoggin' at the bar.
This snatch was so big, she couldn't fit in the car.
She'd eaten too much beef
And let out a big smelly queef
That killed everything near and far.

Comments from the Heroes post:

2005-07-07T08:21:00.000-07:00

Anonymous said...

What, is this supposed to mean? Are we to infer that you idolize these morons because they have subjugated women in some way?

You DO know that this is the year 2005 right?!?

Dirty Says:

Take this link for my response

...And that is all I have to say about that.

Respectfully,

D/S

What a travesty...

2005-07-06T13:43:00.000-07:00

I cannot believe these sue happy people:

News

Respectfully,

D/S

My heroes

2005-07-05T13:42:00.000-07:00

Why is it that you harbor so much resentment towards women anyway?

2005-07-05T10:30:00.000-07:00

Anonymous said...

You people just don't know when to quit?!?!? Why is it that you harbor so much resentment towards women anyway? Did some poor woman wrong you in some way?

Grow up!

Dirty's Response:

Why is it that you harbor so much resentment towards women anyway?

1. Dinner was cold
2. House not vacuumed
3. Knob not polished correctly.
4. She was not on back, knees, or all fours.
5. She was not in kitchen
6. Car, clothes, dishes were dirty
7. Beer was fetched, but only slighlty cold.
8. Kid was crying.
9. She dared to use the remote control for the TV. (she can use the exercise)
10. Spoke during Monday Night Football.

You would think with all of the products on the market, she would not act like she was on the rag all of the time.

Respectfully,

D/S

Ode to a Skank

2005-07-05T07:46:00.000-07:00

I told her you had better not be to long
Because in the Kitchen is where you belong.
You cannot do what you please,
Unless of course you are on you knees.
But you had better do a good job,
When you are there polishing my knob.
If you have not vacuumed the floors
You better be ready to get on all fours.
Then you need to complete all of my wishes,
Washing the car, my clothes, or the dishes.
When you are done, you better get on your back.
So that I can give you my 12 inches on "man slack".

Comments:

2005-07-01T07:35:00.000-07:00

Anonymous said...

I have no idea how anyone who lives in THIS century can actually think this crap! This is outrageus! Do you think Women have nothing better to do with their time than to exist to service you and your needs??? Grow up!

Dirty Sanchez:

first off, you are an I-D-I-D-O-T-H (sic to Group X). Outrageus (sic to you) is spelled Outrageous. It is called "spell check". Here is a link on how to use it: http://www.ehow.com/how_10075_spell-checker-microsoft.html

And Snatch, (Since you didn't leave your name, I will call you what I call all women: Snatch) the answer to your question is "yes". Women have nothing better to do. If you don't like, get some Testiclites (sic Group X).

Respectfully,

D/S

Woman, know your place

2005-06-30T13:39:00.000-07:00

Women, if you are not in any of these places, you are wrong:

1. Kitchen
2. On your knees
3. On your back
4. On all fours
5. Washing my Car, Clothes or dishes.
6. Polishing the knob.
7. Fetching me a beer.
8. Vacuuming
9. Caring for my kids.

This message brought to you by Dirty Sanchez and Tampax mini-pads. "They get the red out".